Monday, January 28, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
a few pictures....
I thought I'd try and put up a few pictures of our life in India! I will try to do more later... these computers are SO slow and it takes forever! All of the children in the pictures are street kids... they either live at the train station or somewhere in Kolkata. They sleep outside every night and pretty much just spend the day begging. It's really, really sad. But somehow they really are so happy... the one little girl with the short hair in the dress lives in a little tent on Sudder St., which is a really popular street for backpackers and foreigners. She just plays outside every day and she'll run up to you and smile really big and hold out her hand. She's so, so, so cute. She knows Shelly and I now, so when we walk by she'll just run up to us and smile and play with us for a minute. They quit begging after they get to know you a little bit. I think she's the cutest thing ever and everytime I see her I just want to take her back with me and give her a bath!
I wrote a few times back about a little girl named Rupa that we met at Sealdah train station. I didn't see her all last weekend when we went in the mornings to take breakfast to the children, but yesterday we were walking to our platform and she was there with her parents! She acted really, really shy at first and wouldn't walk down the platform with us. Her parents were acting really strange, and I guess maybe they were upset because she wasn't out "working" (better known as begging). About five minutes after we walked away I looked up and she was just running towards us with the biggest smile. I sat with her for probably an hour or so, just playing hand games and singing. I had on two bangles, and so I took one off and put it on her wrist and she smiled and kind of played with it for a minute or so, and then she took it off and gave it back to me. I said "No, Rupa... for you! You and me are bon-dune(friends)!" So after doing this a few times she finally understood that it was a gift and she just smiled so big and grabbed my hand and kissed it. It was so sweet... I'm not sure anyone has ever given her a gift before! When we were leaving, we walked back with her to her parents and they were both just sitting there smoking crack. Her dad had a blanket over his head so I could just see him lighting the foil, but her mom was pretty obviously already stoned. Every part of me just wanted to take Rupa home with us, but I obviously couldn't do that. It just killed me leaving her there, though. The entire train platform was filled with children, and there were people everywhere smoking crack. It was probably the darkest place I've ever been. I can't explain it... but it was so sad. I really love those children, and I really love little Rupa. I just can't help but wonder what will happen to her... she's so sweet now, but all she knows is drugs and begging and living on the streets. If I didn't think I would encounter just a few problems at Customs in May... I would definitely try to bring little Rupa back home with me. Please pray for her and her parents and that we would get to spend more time with her. I can't help but think that if she is just shown a little love and learns that she really is special, even if it's just to us, that it could change her life. We can't speak to her because we obviously we don't speak but Bengali, but I guess words aren't always necessary to show someone that you care about them. Thanks for your prayers, and thanks for praying for Rupa!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Compassion
I'm reading this book right now called Compassion, written by Henri Nouwen, Donald P. McNeill, and Douglas A. Morrison. It's a really good book, and it always makes me think. I almost always have to re-read paragraphs to understand the authors' words and meaning. I was reading today during our daily power outage (one of many that we experience on a daily basis) and I came across this part about obedience and servanthood. It says:
"Often we experience a strong desire to offer our services to our fellow human beings in need. At times we even dream about giving our lives to the poor and living in solidarity with those who suffer. Sometimes these dreams lead to generous actions, to good and worthwhile projects, and to weeks, months, and even years of dedicated work. But the initiative still remains ours. We decide when we go and when we return; we decide what to do and how to do it; we control the level and intensity of our servanthood. Although much good work gets done in these situations, there is always the creeping danger that even our servanthood is a subtle form of manipulation. Are we really servants when we can become masters again once we think we have done our part and made our contribution? Are we really servants when we can say when, where, and how long we will give of our time and energy? Is service in a far country really an expression of servanthood when we keep enough money in the bank to fly home at any moment?"
After I read this, I just sat, reading it over and over again trying to figure out how this plays out in my life. I've always hated when people tell me they are proud of me for going to India or choosing to teach at Pecan Park or going to the park to feed our friends. Those things have always felt right to me. It's what I love. I've said from the beginning that I came to Kolkata to live and serve among the poorest of the poor. And I do. I live and "serve" each day among truly the poorest people I have ever seen in my life. But in May I'm going home. I'm going back to my big, fluffy bed and my pantry full of food and the clean Mississippi air. But these friends I've made these past few days... this is their home. They live every day hoping that someone just notices them enough to smile, much less gives them food or clothes. They live meal to meal and sleep on the hard, dirty ground every night. I definitely can't say that I've learned what it means to serve or to be compassionate... but I think I'm getting a much clearer view of what it isn't. Sure... I go every morning to feed these beautiful children at train stations and I clean their wounds and in the afternoons I go and I sit with these sweet, dying women and try to hold them and love them enough to make up somewhat for the hard, hard lives they have lived... but is it enough? I'm not sure servant will be a title I will ever deserve. I can only hope that God will continue to teach me what it means to serve and to show compassion, and that I can come home changed. I sure am glad that we serve a patient God.
In other news... not only are Shells and I sick, but we discovered this morning that we have lice. Yes, lice. It kind of feels like that first time I got sick my freshman year of college and while home was only an hour and a half away, it might has well have been a million miles away. All I wanted was my bed and my mom. Well, now I really am a million miles away and nowhere near my mom. But I am sure things will get better.. the children constantly make me smile and forget any of the troubles that I have. Thanks again for your prayers and sweet emails... I look forward to them everyday! Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we seek to learn a little bit more about what it means to serve Christ and His people. And pleaes pray for the people of Kolkata... they need it more than I can say.
"Often we experience a strong desire to offer our services to our fellow human beings in need. At times we even dream about giving our lives to the poor and living in solidarity with those who suffer. Sometimes these dreams lead to generous actions, to good and worthwhile projects, and to weeks, months, and even years of dedicated work. But the initiative still remains ours. We decide when we go and when we return; we decide what to do and how to do it; we control the level and intensity of our servanthood. Although much good work gets done in these situations, there is always the creeping danger that even our servanthood is a subtle form of manipulation. Are we really servants when we can become masters again once we think we have done our part and made our contribution? Are we really servants when we can say when, where, and how long we will give of our time and energy? Is service in a far country really an expression of servanthood when we keep enough money in the bank to fly home at any moment?"
After I read this, I just sat, reading it over and over again trying to figure out how this plays out in my life. I've always hated when people tell me they are proud of me for going to India or choosing to teach at Pecan Park or going to the park to feed our friends. Those things have always felt right to me. It's what I love. I've said from the beginning that I came to Kolkata to live and serve among the poorest of the poor. And I do. I live and "serve" each day among truly the poorest people I have ever seen in my life. But in May I'm going home. I'm going back to my big, fluffy bed and my pantry full of food and the clean Mississippi air. But these friends I've made these past few days... this is their home. They live every day hoping that someone just notices them enough to smile, much less gives them food or clothes. They live meal to meal and sleep on the hard, dirty ground every night. I definitely can't say that I've learned what it means to serve or to be compassionate... but I think I'm getting a much clearer view of what it isn't. Sure... I go every morning to feed these beautiful children at train stations and I clean their wounds and in the afternoons I go and I sit with these sweet, dying women and try to hold them and love them enough to make up somewhat for the hard, hard lives they have lived... but is it enough? I'm not sure servant will be a title I will ever deserve. I can only hope that God will continue to teach me what it means to serve and to show compassion, and that I can come home changed. I sure am glad that we serve a patient God.
In other news... not only are Shells and I sick, but we discovered this morning that we have lice. Yes, lice. It kind of feels like that first time I got sick my freshman year of college and while home was only an hour and a half away, it might has well have been a million miles away. All I wanted was my bed and my mom. Well, now I really am a million miles away and nowhere near my mom. But I am sure things will get better.. the children constantly make me smile and forget any of the troubles that I have. Thanks again for your prayers and sweet emails... I look forward to them everyday! Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we seek to learn a little bit more about what it means to serve Christ and His people. And pleaes pray for the people of Kolkata... they need it more than I can say.
Friday, January 18, 2008
A week in India
Rickshaw Accidents: 1
I have no idea how I can possibly share what I am experiencing here in Kolkata. I always get a little overwhelmed when I try to write to someone about this whole experience, because there's just so much to say but I'm not really sure even how to put it into words. Our first week has been so great. I have been blown away by the beauty of the people of India. A friend asked me before I left what I was nervous about, and the only thing I could think of to say was, "I'm scared of crying myself to sleep every night." Kolkata doesn't really have the reputation of being a happy place, and I never expected to find such joy among so much poverty. But I have. When the people here smile, they smile with their entire faces and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I've never felt so welcome in any place I've ever been. It would take me forever to explain this past week, so I think I will just include my favorite parts of the past few days, so here goes....
*On Wednesday, after teaching school in our neigborhood, Shelly and I decided to explore Kolkata on our own. We successfully took the local train into Central Kolkata and explored the city on rickshaws, motor carts, and taxi's. We played with beautiful children, saw Mother Teresa's home, and walked around this huge, filthy city all day. My eyes were wide the entire time as I tried to take in India.
**I have no idea how to explain the local train except to say that it is MADNESS. Picture about a 150 women crammed into a car the size of a bedroom, half of them hanging out the door and little men squeezing through chanting, all trying to sell something. I laughed the entire ride to KOlkata our first time. In Kolkata, someone bought us two bouqets of roses, and so on the train ride back home we handed them out to the women around us on the train. They loved it, and we were immediately friends with them all. A lady even bought us bangles! It was a great ride.
**the train ride home yesterday from Kolkata, I somehow ended up sitting in the middle of a huge group of older Indian women. These people have no shame and will stare a hole in you. These women were so great, and even though we couldn't speak the same language, we just laughed together and had a great time the entire ride. I somehow managed to find out how many children they all had, if they were boys or girls, and lots of other interesting things about them. I could tell they were discussing something about me, and I kept hearing "England" something. I finally realized they were trying to find out where I was from, and I said "oh, no.. AMerica!" and they all screamed AMERICA!! and started patting me on the face and grabbing my hands. It was so funny. They just chatted away the rest of the ride and played with my hair until I had to get off. WHen I turned around at the door, they were all just smiling and waving and yelling, "bye! bye!"
**We went yesterday to one of Mother's Teresa's home in Kolkata called Prem Dam. It's a house for older people with disorders, almost like a hospice. They've made this beautiful garden inside the walls, with bird cages and beautiful flowers all around. The men just sit outside all day, but they are so content! We were walking through because we were at a meeting, and I saw a man sitting alone with two tumors, each the size of a big melon, on his neck. I went and sat next time to him and he just smiled and smiled. I introduced myself in Bengali to him, and he just reached out grabbed my hand. He couldn't speak, but Shelly came and sat and we just talked and talked to him and sang him silly songs. He could clap along with us and he would get so tickled when we would forget the words of the song we were singing or do a silly dance or something. And then he would just sit there and clap his hands with ours and smile. We sat with him for probably thirty minutes, singing the Hokey Pokey while he would dance along, or some other stupid American song that he would find hilarious. Shelly and I prayed for him while we were sitting there, and he just rubbed our hands then entire time and smiled. When we finished, his eyes were watery and he was just looking at us and smiling. I hope I meet this man again and can spend more time just sitting with him.
**I went to Sealdah Station this afternoon to hand out food to the children, and while we were waiting about three of the street kids came up and started to play with us. They were beautiful!! Shelly and one of our teammates, Jessica, and I played with these precious little kids for over an hour. We just laughed with them and made silly faces and held hands in the middle of the station for so long, and I could hardly stand to tell them bye. THey live in the station, and they were so dirty. But their smiles were perfect, and I cannot wait to go back and play with them again. It was so obvious that they wanted to be loved. One of the little girls, Rupaya, sat next to me and sang me all kinds of songs about Jesus that someone had taught her before. It made me sad to know that she had no idea waht she was singing about, but I know that her songs and especially her voice are beautiful to God.
I could write all day about this week, but it's gettig late and I need to get home. Tomorrow SHelly and I wil start volunteering with one of Mother Teresa's homes in Kolkata. It's called Kalighat, and it's a house for the destitute and dying. If you know anything about Mother Teresa's work in Kolkata, you probably know about this house. They bring in people off the streets who are about to die and clean them and bath them and just love them so they don't have to die alone. We will go in the afternoons here and just sit with the people and give them massages and brush their hair and just try to make them feel loved and comfortable. I'm really excited, but I would be lying if I didn't say I'm a little nervous. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we try to show the love of God to the people of this huge city. It seems an impossible task everytime I think of it... but luckily we serve a God who always does the impossible. Goodbye for now from dirty, but beautiful, India!
I have no idea how I can possibly share what I am experiencing here in Kolkata. I always get a little overwhelmed when I try to write to someone about this whole experience, because there's just so much to say but I'm not really sure even how to put it into words. Our first week has been so great. I have been blown away by the beauty of the people of India. A friend asked me before I left what I was nervous about, and the only thing I could think of to say was, "I'm scared of crying myself to sleep every night." Kolkata doesn't really have the reputation of being a happy place, and I never expected to find such joy among so much poverty. But I have. When the people here smile, they smile with their entire faces and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I've never felt so welcome in any place I've ever been. It would take me forever to explain this past week, so I think I will just include my favorite parts of the past few days, so here goes....
*On Wednesday, after teaching school in our neigborhood, Shelly and I decided to explore Kolkata on our own. We successfully took the local train into Central Kolkata and explored the city on rickshaws, motor carts, and taxi's. We played with beautiful children, saw Mother Teresa's home, and walked around this huge, filthy city all day. My eyes were wide the entire time as I tried to take in India.
**I have no idea how to explain the local train except to say that it is MADNESS. Picture about a 150 women crammed into a car the size of a bedroom, half of them hanging out the door and little men squeezing through chanting, all trying to sell something. I laughed the entire ride to KOlkata our first time. In Kolkata, someone bought us two bouqets of roses, and so on the train ride back home we handed them out to the women around us on the train. They loved it, and we were immediately friends with them all. A lady even bought us bangles! It was a great ride.
**the train ride home yesterday from Kolkata, I somehow ended up sitting in the middle of a huge group of older Indian women. These people have no shame and will stare a hole in you. These women were so great, and even though we couldn't speak the same language, we just laughed together and had a great time the entire ride. I somehow managed to find out how many children they all had, if they were boys or girls, and lots of other interesting things about them. I could tell they were discussing something about me, and I kept hearing "England" something. I finally realized they were trying to find out where I was from, and I said "oh, no.. AMerica!" and they all screamed AMERICA!! and started patting me on the face and grabbing my hands. It was so funny. They just chatted away the rest of the ride and played with my hair until I had to get off. WHen I turned around at the door, they were all just smiling and waving and yelling, "bye! bye!"
**We went yesterday to one of Mother's Teresa's home in Kolkata called Prem Dam. It's a house for older people with disorders, almost like a hospice. They've made this beautiful garden inside the walls, with bird cages and beautiful flowers all around. The men just sit outside all day, but they are so content! We were walking through because we were at a meeting, and I saw a man sitting alone with two tumors, each the size of a big melon, on his neck. I went and sat next time to him and he just smiled and smiled. I introduced myself in Bengali to him, and he just reached out grabbed my hand. He couldn't speak, but Shelly came and sat and we just talked and talked to him and sang him silly songs. He could clap along with us and he would get so tickled when we would forget the words of the song we were singing or do a silly dance or something. And then he would just sit there and clap his hands with ours and smile. We sat with him for probably thirty minutes, singing the Hokey Pokey while he would dance along, or some other stupid American song that he would find hilarious. Shelly and I prayed for him while we were sitting there, and he just rubbed our hands then entire time and smiled. When we finished, his eyes were watery and he was just looking at us and smiling. I hope I meet this man again and can spend more time just sitting with him.
**I went to Sealdah Station this afternoon to hand out food to the children, and while we were waiting about three of the street kids came up and started to play with us. They were beautiful!! Shelly and one of our teammates, Jessica, and I played with these precious little kids for over an hour. We just laughed with them and made silly faces and held hands in the middle of the station for so long, and I could hardly stand to tell them bye. THey live in the station, and they were so dirty. But their smiles were perfect, and I cannot wait to go back and play with them again. It was so obvious that they wanted to be loved. One of the little girls, Rupaya, sat next to me and sang me all kinds of songs about Jesus that someone had taught her before. It made me sad to know that she had no idea waht she was singing about, but I know that her songs and especially her voice are beautiful to God.
I could write all day about this week, but it's gettig late and I need to get home. Tomorrow SHelly and I wil start volunteering with one of Mother Teresa's homes in Kolkata. It's called Kalighat, and it's a house for the destitute and dying. If you know anything about Mother Teresa's work in Kolkata, you probably know about this house. They bring in people off the streets who are about to die and clean them and bath them and just love them so they don't have to die alone. We will go in the afternoons here and just sit with the people and give them massages and brush their hair and just try to make them feel loved and comfortable. I'm really excited, but I would be lying if I didn't say I'm a little nervous. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we try to show the love of God to the people of this huge city. It seems an impossible task everytime I think of it... but luckily we serve a God who always does the impossible. Goodbye for now from dirty, but beautiful, India!
Monday, January 14, 2008
my new home
I'm in India!
After a perfect weekend in London (where I'm convinced I belong on a permanent basis) Shells and I made it to Kolkata, thankfully with all of our bags this time! I'm sure someone was praying for us yesterday morning in London... we got to the airport (a miracle in itself after getting lost for two hours) and after we checked in the man told us our tickets only allowed us ONE suitcase. He said we had to combine all of our things into two bags, a pretty impossible feat considering they were both already over the weight limit. So after we both almost burst into tears he just said, well ok just put them all here. You gotta do something on the way home though... they will only let you have one. I have NO idea why he let us do this... the ticket lady next to us was arguing with a guy over a few extra pounds that he had!
I'm not sure I could ever describe to you what this place is like... it's crazy!! It's pretty much everything I imagined it would be times ten! We got here yesterday morning around 9:30 and a taxi took us to our apartment where I am sure we almost died about a hundred times due to many, many stray (and anorexic) cows and people who CANNOT drive!! Seriously... the roads here are madness and people use their horns like its nothing. I think I laughed the entire ride to our flat, just to keep myself from screaming. Our litle home is so cute and my bed consists of a wooden table with a couple of thick blankets and a mosquito net! The roads are so, so dirty and we passed so many little huts that were people's homes on the way to our neighborhood. I can't even explain them... the only thing it reminds me of is a commercial from Compassion or World Vision. It's bad. There are animals and flies everywhere! I hope its something I will eventually get used to!
Despite the wooden table that is my bed, I slept for 14 straight hours last night thanks to Tylenol pm. Our street it SO loud... there is something that I swear is right outside my window that sqwawks constantly, horns and bells ringing non-stop, and a man who chants so loudly always walking outside our door. It's so crazy!! We start work tomorrow, but I'm still not sure exactly what we will do! Please pray for us as we try and adjust to this strange city and way of life and as we begin work tomorrow. We're so, so excited to finally be here! Thanks in advance for your prayers and thoughts!
After a perfect weekend in London (where I'm convinced I belong on a permanent basis) Shells and I made it to Kolkata, thankfully with all of our bags this time! I'm sure someone was praying for us yesterday morning in London... we got to the airport (a miracle in itself after getting lost for two hours) and after we checked in the man told us our tickets only allowed us ONE suitcase. He said we had to combine all of our things into two bags, a pretty impossible feat considering they were both already over the weight limit. So after we both almost burst into tears he just said, well ok just put them all here. You gotta do something on the way home though... they will only let you have one. I have NO idea why he let us do this... the ticket lady next to us was arguing with a guy over a few extra pounds that he had!
I'm not sure I could ever describe to you what this place is like... it's crazy!! It's pretty much everything I imagined it would be times ten! We got here yesterday morning around 9:30 and a taxi took us to our apartment where I am sure we almost died about a hundred times due to many, many stray (and anorexic) cows and people who CANNOT drive!! Seriously... the roads here are madness and people use their horns like its nothing. I think I laughed the entire ride to our flat, just to keep myself from screaming. Our litle home is so cute and my bed consists of a wooden table with a couple of thick blankets and a mosquito net! The roads are so, so dirty and we passed so many little huts that were people's homes on the way to our neighborhood. I can't even explain them... the only thing it reminds me of is a commercial from Compassion or World Vision. It's bad. There are animals and flies everywhere! I hope its something I will eventually get used to!
Despite the wooden table that is my bed, I slept for 14 straight hours last night thanks to Tylenol pm. Our street it SO loud... there is something that I swear is right outside my window that sqwawks constantly, horns and bells ringing non-stop, and a man who chants so loudly always walking outside our door. It's so crazy!! We start work tomorrow, but I'm still not sure exactly what we will do! Please pray for us as we try and adjust to this strange city and way of life and as we begin work tomorrow. We're so, so excited to finally be here! Thanks in advance for your prayers and thoughts!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
And so it begins...
I'm leaving for India in the morning! Please, please keep us in your prayers as we travel to London tomorrow and then on to Kolkata on Sunday. We will have a few days in London to hopefully catch up with some of our friends who live in the city that we've met the past couple of spring breaks and I'm so, so excited to spend the weekend in my very favorite city. When we get to Kolkata, we will be working with an organization called CRAWL (Children's Resolution and Women Learning). We will be working each day with street children… children who have no parents, no bed, and often no food. They live on the streets of this huge, filthy city, and they are shunned by the society in which they are a part of. We will be working with people from around the world to feed these children, educate them, and treat their wounds (hopefully physically and spiritually). I'm not gonna lie... I'm pretty nervous and I've definitely asked myself a few times what in the world I was thinking when I decided to do this. Despite the many mission trips I've been on and my church's idea of "roughing it" a few times in high school... I'm pretty sure I've never experienced anything like Kolkata. But I guess I'm about as ready as I'll ever be. I've had one too many shots, one too many discussions about malaria, and way too many trips to wal-mart. Two suitcases later with a few too many pounds (pray for kind Delta ticket men) and I guess I'm about ready to go. I'm getting my hair cut off in the morning and then headed to the airport. I hope I'll be able to keep you updated through this blog... I promise I will do my best to write on a somewhat regular basis! Thanks in advance for your prayers... see you in London!
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